hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
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17 year olds will be the death of me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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