was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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