Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
