I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
