its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
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