no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it's like iHOP with fire
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
