I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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