well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
