Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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