Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
