Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
