Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
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noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
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Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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