Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Text me some of your sweat
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