If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
