Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
its liver damage thursday
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