carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
