he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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