I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
