His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
