I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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