Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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