So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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