For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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