i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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