He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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