I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
