State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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