Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
