The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
