so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
