I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It's just like the Real World with babies
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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