It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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