She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
