i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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