Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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