This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
