i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The air taste purple.
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