But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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