What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
