She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
