how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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