Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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