This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
