Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
