I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We left an ass print on the piano.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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