Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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