I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
