I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
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It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
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I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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