ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I want a musical about memes.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
