i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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