whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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