I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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