party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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