I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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