This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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