she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
