Buhtt sex?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
