so that wasnt chicken after all
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
