Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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