I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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